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It’s a dilemma that’s more common than you think when online dating turns into an offline relationship.

The funny thing about being in a relationship when you’ve been single for so long is that you go into it having all these preconceived ideas on how you would react to certain dating situations, and you prejudge your future relationships based on your past ones.

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_______________________________ Read more Relationship Advice and Dating Advice: Why does he have a secret Facebook page? He won’t bring me out with his friends Friends with benefits: why me? This is an example of a guy getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar and then denying it ever happened. Because now you’re second guessing yourself, and wondering if maybe you’re the problem. We assume something must have tipped you off, causing you to be suspicious of your boyfriend.

Hi Guys, My boyfriend has just walked out on me after three years of what I thought was a great relationship. Yes, you did breach the trust of your relationship by snooping, but we can assure you that you’re not the one who caused irreparable damage to the relationship. Because otherwise we can’t see how you could “accidentally” discover he was on a dating site.

I discovered by accident he had been using a dating site, and in the last two months had been winking and flirting with women on it. And he has made me feel like I’m such an awful person. (That’s why “accident” is in quotes.) But the problem here, is once you procure information in a covert fashion it’s very difficult to do much with it.

I didn’t say anything for a couple of days because I was in shock and wanted to be calm when I discussed it with him. But then he sent me an odd text saying he loves me. Once you tell him how you discovered the information he’ll immediately shut down and feel that you violated the trust of your relationship. However, even though you “accidentally” discovered the information, now that you have it, it trumps any argument he can raise.

Other times, you get hit with a case of FOMO, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead.

Every now and then, you come across the online dating profile of someone you know, but when that someone you know happens to be someone you’re supposed to be in a relationship with, you can’t help but start questioning the validity of that relationship.

When I did he looked me in the eye and said he would never, ever do that to me. And if you don’t tell him, you set him up to lie even further. Because when it comes right down to it, he’s the one who breached the trust of the relationship. Sure, it’s clear he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he’s a great boyfriend, and someone to throw your lot in with.

He should be apologizing to you, asking for forgiveness, and agreeing to go to couples’ counseling, or whatever else it takes to restore the trust. Any guy trolling a dating site while he’s in a relationship is cheating, plain and simple. ” To which we’d respond, “But only because the opportunity didn’t present itself.” Kacey, ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to build a life with? Please leave us a follow up comment and/or question here in the comments section.

But when those unique dating situations suddenly become your present reality, you still feel like a deer caught in headlights no matter how many books about polyamory or open relationships you may have read.

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