Dating after loss

Several reported that though they made an effort to be functional in their jobs, much time was spent thinking about their spouse.However, they reported that being at work was better than being at home.

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Both stated that widowers tried to remain "strong" when in public, crying infrequently in front of family members.

Widowers seemed to think this would be helpful to their children.

The widowers in this study found work to do such as regularly scheduled salaried work and church work.

They became involved in family work, spent more time with children individually and in a group, and performed housework, home remodeling, meal preparation, and child care for dependent children.

Other responses were the inability to think or talk about the deceased wife and to avoid every family event reproducing memories of deceased wife.

The widower had difficulty defining himself after the death of his wife and difficulty making decisions.Although I had some good male friends, I just didn't feel like I could go over and say, "Let's have a piece of cake and a good cry." It is hard to go to someone's house and say "I really need to talk about the death of my wife." You know, guys just don't do that.So, I ended up working out a lot of things on my own.He put a big front for the family, for his parents and my mom's family. Widowers cried at funerals and when talking about their wives.As soon as the funeral was over, he was left alone. Children knew their fathers were crying in private, often at night, thinking no one would notice.The widower's grieving left him little energy to do this.

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